Monday, April 18, 2011


I realize that life is not all sunshine and roses, generally I try to keep my not so sunny/rosey moments private...sometimes just 'cus that's how it should be and sometimes its out of a misguided attempt to appear a certain way to the outside world but right now I need to be real...

I am nervous and worried

...I am worried about being ready for Sadie

...I'm worried about when she will get here...what if my water breaks while I am home with lyv and I can't get in touch with anyone? What if I go into labor in the middle of the night...what will we do with Lyvi? (It should be noted that I am worried about the logistics of her arrival, but not at all about the actual delivery)

...Who will watch lyvi during delivery, what about after while we are in the hospital?

...I am worried about dreading breastfeeding. I was hard enough with on earth will I chase a toddler while serving as a milk bar?

...I am worried about how to take care of my 2 will I be enough?

...How will we find balance?

I am a planner by nature and there is so much that I can't plan for right now...I understand and accept that. I cope with that by voicing my worries and concerns to those closest to me...and if those closest to me (or anyone else for that matter) tells me one more time 'to relax' I may just come unglued.

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